Faith Nudge

Last week I gave God a little up-date on what’s been going on. Yeah, I know. God knows everything. But sometimes I forget that, and start thinking I’m in charge.

Nearing the end of the Spring Semester, there is a glitch on the launching pad. With four classes to take this summer before finishing, I wasn’t sure how it was going to happen. You know…money-wise. Which gave me a slight panicky feeling in the pit.

So, I  remind God. About, you know. Money. And then I ask myself a few questions. As far as I know, am I on the right path? Am I doing everything I believe I should be doing? Yes and yes.

So I sat on my back porch, took a few deep breaths, admired the pines in the dusky light, listened to the birds, and remembered a conversation I had with my sister a few months ago.

Jeannie: You know—long pause—I used to worry a lot about you. About how you’d manage after the divorce.

Me: Yeah, I know.

Jeannie: Even when you told me not to worry. That God always puts the next lily pad in front of you when you need it. I thought you were crazy, you know.

Me: Yeah, I know.

Jeannie: But I don’t think that anymore. Because it’s been seven years, and you’re still okay.

Me: Yeah, I know.

So the slow breaths become more relaxed; the peace returns. And I thank God, again, for the reminder.

“I don’t know how this is going to work. But You do. And I am not worried.”

Two days later, a call came out of the blue—and the next plump lily pad landed right where I needed one.

Then I did a little leg work on something I’d forgotten about—and an even bigger lily pad popped up.

The “blue-meanies” still come knocking, building walls of doubt that make me afraid I’m not smart enough, good enough, talented enough, brave enough, to acomplish my goal: to write the book I’ve been thinking about for five years.

Then I remember the lily pads: the faith nudges. And doubt disappears like smoke.